The Election of Barely Alive

Let’s face it. So far, 2020 has been a major cock-up. It has been such a mess that the pivotal events in the political arena, like the 3rd impeachment of an American president in history, or the despicable Chinese crackdown on the freedom of Hong Kong, have completely fallen by the wayside. Apart from the never-ending pandemic panic, we’re also likely looking at the worst economic crisis of our time, worldwide lack of food, and if the omens are right, probably some damned locusts to boot. Oh, and we are closing in on another disaster. The 2020 US elections.

A Little Throwback

The one thing people forgot while waiting for the next plague was that 2020 is an election year in the United States. A joyful time when we watch in amusement as two clueless senior citizens battle in a popularity contest over who gets to hold the keys to the nukes. In 2016 we watched the most incompetent and unlikeable political candidate in American history run a train wreck campaign against the orangest and second-most unlikeable candidate in American history. However, this year the Democratic Party made sure not to repeat its mistakes and chose a candidate that Trump just can’t beat. An actual dead man.

Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash

What people rarely understand about 2016 is that it was not a referendum on Trump. It was a referendum on Hillary Clinton. The already established candidate with a terrible record who is known for her artificial persona, slippery morals, and double-crossing politics. She was the archetype of a corrupt Washington bureaucrat who would do anything to satisfy her thirst for power. To many people, she was so repulsive that even the idea of a Trump presidency did not seem so terrible. But now, the tables have turned.

Donald Trump is no longer the outsider of this election and will be judged on his record which… is not so great. Apart from the obvious problem with his inability to shut up and quit creating controversies for five minutes, there is also his policies. While campaigning on “draining the swamp” trying to represent a tectonic shift in American politics, his term was pretty much just more of the same. Forgetting his promises and ramping up spending. He will not just have to face the blame for his actions but also deal with the fallout from Corona.

While Joe Biden isn’t literally dead, he represents the position of a dead man. A non-threatening, non-acting, uncle Joe that just stands in the corner quietly and doesn’t tweet about women’s periods or the size of his hands. As a tactic it’s brilliant. While in 2016, Democrats had to try and make a positive image for a fork-tongued lizard witch, this year they will just have to make sure to keep Biden quiet and alive. However, that might still be a difficult task.

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Making Bad Choices: A Joe Biden Masterclass

One of the most amusing characteristics of this election is that it will be a battle over who stays off camera the longest. One being a repulsive character, the other a senile zombie. It seems that whenever either one reminds us they are alive, they lose preferences. Moreover, Joe is not just a gaffe machine, he also seems to be an expert at making all the bad decisions at the worst possible times. His most dreadful one so far, is Kamala Harris.

While on the face of it, choosing an intersectional candidate with a long record in public service might seem like a home run in Democratic politics, the real picture is a lot more bleak. Not least because of the fact, that Harris ran a primary campaign dead set on destroying Biden’s reputation. She said she believed the rape allegations against him, considered him incompetent, and attacked him as racist multiple times. Not only does that give free ads to the Trump campaign, it also shows her cynicism in becoming Biden’s VP. And her absolute lack of authenticity is just the start of it.

From the very beginning, her political career raised eyebrows. Her first political appointment came courtesy of her at the time boyfriend Willie Brown. If gaining a patronage job from a married lover twice her age was not already bad enough, Harris’s record as a prosecutor also opens Biden’s campaign up to attack. People are not likely to forget that during the primaries, Tulsi Gabbard openly called her out for putting thousands of people in jail for marijuana use while laughing about it, blocking evidence to free an innocent man from death row, and keeping people in prison beyond their sentences. Apart from this, she was also well known for refusing to prosecute cops and quietly working to preserve the status quo while publicly calling for reform. This record would be problematic at the best of times but with the recent rise of anti-police sentiment and claims of a system that enables police brutality, it might prove downright disastrous.

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A Fitting End

Despite being perceived as the conventional wisdom choice for the Biden campaign, picking her in today’s political climate does not make much sense. She doesn’t bring charm. She doesn’t bring the black vote. She doesn’t bring a state. Even her position as the first African-American VP is a bit shaky considering that she was sworn into Congress as an Indian-American and only began identifying as black later on. Harris tries to present herself as a progressive senator and a ‘top cop’. Her positions went from moderate to radical and back so many times nobody even knows her stance. She might seem to be a good choice but she represents the entrenched, dishonest political elite that so many voters find off-putting.

While seeing more debates featuring these political dinosaurs might be a good distraction from the impeding end of the world, it is possible that the Biden campaign will choose not to participate. The best tactic for the Biden campaign would be to keep it quiet and avoid drama all the way up to the election. Apart from Joe’s questionable oral performance, it would also be all too easy for the Trump campaign to use this VP pick to their advantage. Not least because more than half of the American people do not believe that Joe Biden will live throughout his term and his VP will take office. This means that the candidate who failed to attract any people even in the primaries could now be considered for the role of the president of the United States. At this point it’s still too early to make any predictions about who ends up as the president. The one thing we can predict, is that this election will be a political shitshow that perfectly fits this beautiful year.

Title Photo by Chris Hall on Unsplash